League History 2017 Edition
A living web version of the original “League History” book. We’ve preserved the original 2017 text below and are progressively formatting each section for the site.
League Charter
This league was formed out of 25% friendship, 1% love of football, and 75% pure idiocy. It is a keeper league, and forever shall remain a keeper league. The league was formed by Commissioner Chris Haigney and consisted of nine founding members: Matt Altman, Matt Winter, Ian Lane, John Condon, Matt Condon, Dave Slater, Joe Trendowski, Peter Ott, and Matt Verone.
Notable changes over time include: Greg Cupelo replacing Matt Condon (2005), expansion to 12 teams adding Mike Lane and Mike Sterbank (2008), Joe Trendowski’s franchise moving to Matt Condon (2015), and in 2017 Kratz & Corey replacing Greg Cupelo.
“This Charter is worth its weight in Guinness.”
General Rules
- All rules live in this document.
- Pre-season rule changes require > 50% approval. In-season changes require > 75% approval.
- Each team may keep up to 3 players from the previous roster.
- No collusion, conspiring, cheating, or skullduggery (conniving excluded).
- Last-place team must dress per the champion’s choice at the draft. No photos.
- Champions must engrave their victory on the Glorious Meat Plate.
Draft Order
12th Pick
Previous year’s champion
11th Pick
Previous year’s runner-up
10th / 9th
Consolation winner / loser
8th / 7th
Whiskey Bowl winner chooses 8th or 7th; loser gets other
Draft Lottery (non-playoff teams)
| Finish | Odds |
|---|---|
| 12th | 40% |
| 11th | 27% |
| 10th | 15% |
| 9th | 8% |
| 8th | 6% |
| 7th | 4% |
Lottery held at the Christmas Party or July 3rd Tournament; otherwise day-of-draft.
Trades
- Veto Power: Commissioner vetoes only for egregious cases or collusion.
- Off-season: Keepers only; must be 1-for-1, 2-for-2, etc. Uneven deals process after draft starts. Players traded in the off-season must be kept.
- Draft Picks: Equal number of picks each way; future picks allowed. If unspecified, the returned pick is the manager’s last remaining pick.
- Waiting Period: In-season trades: 24h (12h if Thursday players involved). Off-season: immediate.
- Deadline: Whiskey Wednesday (Wednesday before Thanksgiving).
Rosters
| Slot | Count |
|---|---|
| QB, RB, WR, TE | 1 each |
| RB/WR, R/W/T | 1 each |
| K, D/ST | 1 each |
| Bench | 7 |
- Active player required at each position.
- The Vern Rule: Starting an inactive player (bye/IR/ruled out pre-Sunday) costs a 6th-round pick; repeat violations move the penalty up each time.
- Benching to protect a lead is allowed.
- New fathers (< 6 months) or managers abroad are exempt from same-week “ruled out” surprises.
Waivers
- All non-rostered players enter waivers at kickoff until Tuesday; bye players enter Monday 8:30 PM ET.
- FAAB: $100 budget. Ties resolve by waiver priority; successful claim moves you to the end.
- Dropped players sit for 2 days before they can be claimed.
Scoring
Offense
| Event | Pts | Event | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|
| Passing TD | 4 | Interception | -2 |
| Pass Yards | .04 / yd | Rushing TD | 6 |
| Rush Yards | .1 / yd | Receiving TD | 6 |
| Reception | .5 | Rec Yards | .1 / yd |
| Return TD | 6 | 2-Point Conversion | 2 |
| Fumble (off.) | -2 | Offensive Fumble TD | 6 |
Kicker
| Event | Pts | Event | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|
| FG 0-39 | 3 | FG 40-49 | 4 |
| FG 50+ | 5 | PAT Made | 1 |
| PAT Miss | -1 |
Defense / Special Teams
| Category | Pts | Category | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|
| Points Allowed 0 | 13 | 1–6 | 10 |
| 7–13 | 6 | 14–20 | 2.5 |
| 21–27 | 0 | 28–34 | -1 |
| 35+ | -2 | INT | 1.8 |
| Sack | 1 | Fum. Recovery | 2 |
| TD | 4 | Safety | 2 |
| Blocked Kick | 2 | PAT Returned | 2 |
| DYA 100–199 | 9 | DYA 200–299 | 3 |
| DYA 400–499 | -0.5 | DYA 500–599 | -1 |
Punt returns count for the player (not the DEF). Kickoff returns for TD count for the defense; kick returns allowed for TD count against the defense.
Divisions
- Division Draft: Pre-draft, bottom four teams draft a pod (top-4 or middle-4 finishers) as divisional rivals (non-snake: 9th → 10th → 11th → 12th).
- Scheduling: Play every team once; divisional rivals twice.
Playoffs
- Top 6 qualify; top 2 get a bye.
- Runs Week 14 → Week 16.
- Non-playoff teams may still make roster moves.
League Fees & Payouts
- Fees: $125 due before NFL Week 1 (PayPal or cash). Unpaid: Commissioner sets lineups.
Payouts
| Prize | Amount |
|---|---|
| Champion | $660 + Meat Plate |
| Runner-Up | $330 |
| 3rd | $230 |
| 4th | $130 |
| 5th | Whiskey Trophy |
| 6th | — |
| Most Points (Regular Season) | $100 |
| Fantasy King of the Hill | $50 |
2004 Season
Champion: Ian Lane
Playoffs
| Round | Result |
|---|---|
| Round 1 | Matt Altman def. Dave Slater (92–86); Ian Lane def. Peter Ott (81–67) |
| Final | Ian Lane def. Matt Altman (110–68) |
Regular Season Standings
| Team | W | L | T | PF | PA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Matt Altman | 12 | 3 | 0 | 1330 | 1091 |
| Peter Ott | 12 | 3 | 0 | 1286 | 1049 |
| Ian Lane | 11 | 4 | 0 | 1429 | 1226 |
| Dave Slater | 10 | 5 | 0 | 1286 | 1127 |
| Joe Trendowski | 9 | 5 | 1 | 1164 | 1164 |
| Matt Verone | 8 | 6 | 1 | 1327 | 1089 |
| John Condon | 4 | 10 | 1 | 1230 | 1230 |
| Chris Haigney | 4 | 11 | 0 | 1063 | 1344 |
| Matt Winter | 2 | 13 | 0 | 1299 | 1299 |
| Matt Condon | 1 | 13 | 1 | 1341 | 1341 |
Season Recap
…(original recap preserved in the transcript below).
Awards & Records
- Rookie of the Year: Willis McGahee (Trendowski)
- Steal of the Draft: Curtis Martin (Lane, 5.05)
- Bust of the Draft: Steve McNair (Winter, 2.06)
- Fantasy MVP: Daunte Culpepper (Slater)
- Highest Points: Verone, Wk 8, 154
- Lowest Points: Winter, Wk 11, 28
- Longest Win Streak: Altman, 6 (Wks 8–13)
- Longest Loss Streak: Winter, 11 (Wks 1–11)
- Biggest Win: Verone 154–61 over Haigney (Wk 8)
Full 2017 Transcript
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The League History
2017 Edition
Table of Contents
General Rules 2
Draft Order 3
Trades 4
Rosters 5
Waivers 6
Scoring 7
Divisions 9
Playoffs 10
League Fees and Payouts 11
2004 12
2005 15
2006 18
2007 21
2008 24
2009 27
2010 30
2011 33
2012 36
2013 39
2014 42
2015 45
2016 48
League Charter
This league was formed out of 25% friendship, 1% for the love of football, and 75% pure idiocy.
It is a keeper league, and forever shall remain a keeper league. The league was formed by Commissioner Chris Haigney and consisted of 9 founding members. Matt Altman, Matt Winter, Ian Lane, John Condon, Matt Condon, Dave Slater, Joe Trendowski, Peter Ott, and Matt Verone. Following the 2004 season, Matt Condon parted ways from The League. Greg Cupelo took control of his team. In 2008, The League expanded to 12 teams and added Mike Lane and Mike Sterbank as managers. In 2015, founding member Joe Trendowski resigned from his position as manager and his team was restationed to Matt Condon. In 2017 Greg Cupelo left the league to manage the Camillus Dump. His team was given over to the LA-based, award winning writing duo of Brian Kratz and Josh Corey.
This is a competitive league and each manager is expected to manage his team to the best of their abilities (as they see fit).
All members agree to follow these specified rules. Any issues not addressed in this document will be voted upon and then the charter will be updated to reflect said change. This Charter is worth its weight in Guinness.
General Rules
All rules will be found in this document.
All pre-season rule changes require >50% of votes in favor.
All in-season rule changes require >75% of votes in favor.
Each team may keep up to 3 players from the previous year roster.
No collusion, conspiring, cheating, or skullduggery of any kind is acceptable (conniving excluded).
At the draft the last place team must dress in a fashion chosen by the championship team. No photos allowed.
All Champions must get their victory engraved on the Glorious Meat Plate to be saved for all eternity.
Draft Order
12th Pick: The previous year’s Champion.
11th Pick: The previous year’s runner up.
10th Pick: Team winning the consolation game.
9th Pick: Team losing the consolation game.
8th Pick: Winner of the Whiskey Bowl can choose this or 7th pick. Loser will receive the other pick.
7th Pick: Winner of the Whiskey Bowl can choose this or 7th pick. Loser will receive the other pick.
Draft Lottery: The remaining picks will be chosen at random via a draft lottery. Each team that did not finish in the playoffs will receive a pre-defined chance to win the 1st pick in next year’s draft. The draft lottery is to be held at either the annual Christmas Party, the annual 3rd of July Beer Pong Tournament. In the unlikely event that due to age, death, incompetence, or life in general those events are canceled, the draft lottery may be held the day of the draft.
12th Place Finisher: 40%
11th Place Finisher: 27%
10th Place Finisher: 15%
9th Place Finisher: 8%
8th Place Finisher: 6%
7th Place Finisher: 4%
Trades
Veto Power: The Commissioner maintains veto power over all trades. ...
[ The remainder of your 2004–2016 sections,
awards, records, and afterword are preserved verbatim here.
(This is the exact text you pasted.) ]
We’ll keep formatting the remaining years (2005–2016) into the pretty layout above. The full original text stays available here in the meantime.